Back in my early 20’s; you know when I possessed all the answers to life, I wanted five children. Post-pregnancy and delivery, I was firmly planted on the single child parent track. Today, I have two kids and they are the light of my life.
My journey into motherhood started with my beautiful daughter. A dramatic, smart, sweet, natural leader – 10 lb 14 oz baby girl. Had there been a twin in the womb, she would have ate them as a birth day snack before making her exit.
Next came my son. Clever, chill, handsome, quick-witted – moderately sized Chunk. Aesthetically appearing to only contain my genetic material, he came out laying the charm on pretty thick.
I have 2 kids. All “good” parents know, you’re not supposed to compare or rank your children.
Let’s be real – Parents compare their kids.
Now I can only speak for myself but many a pillow talk conversations with the hubby have been sidelined by a “what did we (read you) do wrong with this one?” sidebar.
For example, dinner. Baby girl loves to impress us with how she can clean her plate. My son on the other hand, will refuse to eat a plated meal but pick the crumbs out of his car seat like it’s a perfectly seared steak.
Or sometimes its conflict resolution. My daughter – Oh you won’t let me be the leader? Okay, let me find an adult, report you and then locate someone else to follow me. My son – Oh you won’t let me be the leader? Okay let me find a female adult bat these eyelashes and partake in an extra snack, dessert, toy, etc instead.
I mean on a good day, there is at least one temper tantrum style comparison. The purpose for this is to steer them both to the mom is still about her wits safe zone also known as the less loud zone.
I guess the point is to not use comparisons to dampen your kids’ individual lights but allow you as their parent to pinpoint their uniqueness and encourage its development. Unless their gift is screaming in public – that you nip in the bud.